the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
my poor anus
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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