I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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