I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Alive.
So much puke
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
