i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
