I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize
