i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
if i died would you start the facebook group?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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