remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i just google imaged poop.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
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