Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize
