Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
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