dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize