i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
