When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
