so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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