it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
