i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
