Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
the day after is always just damage control
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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