i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I just saw a hot homeless man
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
