his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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