Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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