remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
