I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Randomize
