she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
