On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
