can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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