I cockslap morals
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
