Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
