My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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