Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
