dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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