that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
