I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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