I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Randomize
