Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
You pole danced in your parka.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize