I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
