As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
