Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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