Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize
