no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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