P.S. I can't hear my feet
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Randomize
