ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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