let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
