The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
