I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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