Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
