Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
