At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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