Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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