All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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