Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
