we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
