what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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