I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
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I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
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Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Two words: nipple clamps
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