some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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