I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
