Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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