i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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