but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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