well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
