It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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