he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
