I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
