it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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