i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
